"River Monster" Spotted in Indianapolis!

My 9-yr old son Zander is obsessed with becoming a world famous, extreme angler, like Animal Planet's Jeremy Wade, the star of "River Monsters". He's spent the last several months watching every tv episode, reading all kinds of fish stories and planning for future fishing excursions.

Each year about September, we start talking about what each one of our four children wants to be for Halloween. This year, Zander's answer was easy. "I want to be an extreme angler" he says.  I'm thrilled because I think how easy this is going to be. Oh, and how cute...

When I was little, we would challenge our imaginations to make our costumes from things we found around the house. Mom would break out the acrylic paints and her home ec skills. Dad would do any constructing we would need. It was awesome.

Since I became a mom, I've always felt like I've taken the easy way out. Either we head to Costco, or to the couch to order online the costumes of choice. This year, the only children's size fisherman costumes I could find were for toddlers or grown ups. The little tykes were adorable, but too cutesy and baby-like.

So I start thinking... about how unique a look Jeremy Wade has. A unique, distinct and easily replicated one. I realized that Zander could actually be Jeremy Wade for Halloween, not just any ol' fisherman, but the extreme angler himself. All we would need, is to buy a pair of cargo pants, a long sleeve button up, collared shirt, and white hair spray. The key to pulling it off though, would be the fish. Yep, he'd need a really big monster fish.

I instantly have visions of twisting wire, paper mache and paint flying through my head. I could do it... I could make a monster fish. Better yet, I could make the inside big enough to hold the candy too. People would put their hands into the big mouth, past the pointy teeth to give him the candy. How cool would that be? At this point, I could feel the gooey, paper mache running between my fingers. I could smell the strips of newspaper and just imagine Zander as the 'cutest little mini-angler' ever created.

The Supply List

Paper Mache (mix equal parts water and flower, with a little bit of salt)

Strips of newspaper

Plastic gloves

Thin gauge wire (you want to be able to bend it with your hands easily. I used .5mm wire you would usually use to hang plants, or possible anchor a christmas tree to a wall.)

Needle nose pliers & wire cutters

Duct Tape

Foam Craft Balls

An exacto knife

Acrylic paints & brushes

Glue

2 Straight pins

Paint primar

Large empty plastic jar (I used an old pretzel container to put in the belly of the fish to hold the candy)

Length of time: Multiple days. It took me about a month to get it done.

Step 1: First, I built a wire frame to the shape of what I thought would resemble a monster fish. Looking back, I would have started with an actual photo to go off of. As it is, I made it up as I went. I cut the wire up into smaller sections, about two to three feet in length and twisted the pieces together securely. I added the tail (yes, I know it's horizontal, and not vertical as it's supposed to be, but what can I say... I was thinking about dolphins), the fins and the teeth. Zander insisted that we include dorsal fins, so I added those too.

Step 2: I decided to use duct tape to create a base layer to hold the paper mache strips to. This also provided structural support since the thin wire is really flimsy.

Note: Jocelyn doesn't usually wear such drastic make up.
She was a vampire girl earlier in the day.

Step 3: Here comes the fun part. Tear the newspaper into strips about 1" by 6". Mix the paper mache. Dip the individual strips in the goo and remove the excess by pulling the strips between two fingers. I prefer to use plastic gloves for this since the salt in the mixture burns dry skin. Overlap and criss cross the strips.

Put the large empty plastic container in the belly of the fish while everything is still wet and pliable.

Step 4: I balled up newspaper to shove inside the fish around the container. This helped support the weight of the wet paper mache, so the fish would retain its shape and not start to collapse in on itself.

Step 5: Let it dry completely for a few days, and then add a second layer or paper mache.

Step 6: Once it's completely dry and firm, you're ready to paint. Start with a white, water based paint primer. One coat should do it.

Step 7: I cut down two small foam craft balls to form the bug eyes. I glued them down, painted them, and added the straight pins to add a gleam to the eye and secure them to the fish.

Step 8: Use acrylic paints to finish off the desired look.

Some of you may be saying to yourselves, "She's crazy! She did all that work for a Halloween costume prop?". I agree, I may be crazy... and it may be one of the best thingamajigs I've ever created.

Hopefully, Zander will have some great memories of the Halloween he had a one of a kind costume... and of course, was the star of River Monsters for a few short hours.

What was your favorite homemade costume? Were you a child, or a full grown, Halloween-loving adult? Post in the comments below.

A bucket of fried chicken and a school choir

My stepdaughter Ashley was blessed with a beautiful voice. Naturally, she's been an active participant in the school choir for as long as I've known her. She loves being on stage, learning new songs, being with her friends, and knowing that her family is there in the audience watching her.

One of the most memorable performances occurred her 8th grade year, when she was 14. It was an outdoor, springtime, student-organized event. She had literally been talking about it for months ahead of time. What she failed to mention, was the length of the event. They handed me the program when we arrived, and after I got over the shock, I counted the number of acts ahead of us. There were 27! Of which she sang with the chorus, in the back row for two. 27 - 2 = 25 acts, in which she sat in the bleachers and goofed around with her friends. We sat and watched. I remember it well. I prayed for rain. "Please God, let those dark clouds bring rain." They didn't.

Three and a half hours, one teenaged magician, several extremely uncomfortable solos, duets, group songs, an interpretative dance, a line dance, and did I mention the magician... we were able to leave. It didn't take me long to realized that we were in fact held hostage, along with all the other parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles and siblings... all because of common courtesy. Something I thought we were all born with.

Because no matter how badly you want to get up and leave after your child has performed, it would be considered rude in modern society to do so. So, we sat, covered our ears at times, and avoided making any eye contact or loud comments within earshot of one of the proud parents surrounding us. I left there feeling a great sense of empathy and camaraderie with my community. We had survived.

Of course, once Ashley made it to High School, she continued her study of music, and joined the choir. I arrived for her first performance her freshman year, and was pleasantly surprised that it was held in the auditorium, not a gymnasium, cafeteria or courtyard. The auditorium was beautiful, comfortable and professional. I was stoked.

Everyone took there seats, the lights dimmed and the show began. Here we go again, parents and family members banding together to muscle through another season, video cameras in one hand, and a bag of peanuts in the other? What? Seriously, the couple sitting beside us, literally pulled out a bag of peanuts. The man took a hand full, and placed them on his very large stomach to use as a table. The munching and crackling began.

I was suddenly grateful that it was a Tuesday night and my kids, who are deathly allergic to peanuts were with their dad. I became angry. Not only were these people breaking the clearly stated rules stating "No Food or Drink Allowed" posted at each entrance to the auditorium. They felt the need to add their own sound track to the music. A sound track of whispers, crackles, crunches and chewing.

Ashley is now a junior, and we've attended 2-3 performances annually. Each year, "the people" in the audience become more rude, inconsiderate, self-centered and brazen. What happened to the warm, gooey, camaraderie I had felt during the three and a half hours of torture we had shared years before? Don't these people want to support their children? Why can't they just shut up? Didn't their parents teach them manners?

Although I tried to get out of attending the Fall Concert just a few weeks ago, Ashley insisted that I be there. She's in show choir now, and had been putting in a lot of hours, and energy into following her dream. I did really want to be there for her, even if I really didn't want to deal with the people. So we went. I knew that the performances would be light years better than what we witnessed in Middle School, but I also knew that the people in the audience were the most inconsiderate, thoughtless people I've had the pleasure to share a zip code with.

I had given up anyone following the clearly posted rules at the door, and decided if they weren't going to, then why should I? So although my conscience plagued me, I brought my large sweet tea in with me, and carefully stowed it under my chair. I had run into Ashley and her friend in the hall outside the auditorium as I was trying to finish my tea before I went in. She suggested that I just bring it in with me. She told me a local urban legend that had been passed around the show choir for the last several years. Legend was, a family brought in an actual bucket of fried chicken and passed it up and down the aisle during the performances. The entire auditorium reeked of the Colonel's secret recipe. So I figured, a sweet tea is pretty harmless compared to chicken legs and greasy fingers.

Again, the lights dimmed, students took the stage, and immediately, the talking behind us began. The most incredible example of white trash the south side of Indy could produce was sitting earshot right behind us. The man looked as if he just finished beating up 6th graders for their lunch money, and he picked up some new teeth for his wife from the dumpster in the back on the way in. At least he sure smelled like it. I tried to ignore them, and their smell. I made it about 4 songs.

I turned around several times and glared. This normally works with my children, and was sadly disappointed when they seemed not to get the hint and shut up. I even raised my eyebrow, giving them "the look". Prior to Ashley taking the stage, there may have been heated words exchanged. At this point, I'm fuming angry that we couldn't just sit and enjoy Ashley's stellar singing and dancing. Suddenly I also wished that the school had metal detectors at the door. We were indeed encountering the thug life.

I keep thinking, "These people are raising children!", "These people are raising children?". What kind of example is being provided for our future leaders and citizens? When the parents don't have the ability to recognize the need for the greater good, and are constantly put their own selfish needs before others, where does that leave their kids?

When did we become a society and that no longer cares about the most basic considerations for others? More importantly, is there anyway to course correct and regain the common ground we once used to share. I have to believe that the individual desires, hopes and dreams that we all share for our children's future becomes the bond and the goal we all reach towards, even if it's unknowingly.

Until then, we'll be there in the audience to cheer on Ashley through the rest of her show choir career. She's definitely worth it.